Wednesday, July 20, 2011

MONTREAL!



What a GREAT weekend. A couple of the Angels and I went to visit coach Nic in Montreal. We flew Porter for the presumed 'ease' and convenience of it - so of course we were met with a ridiculously rushed and stressful experience. It probably didn't help that we showed up to the airport 25min before our flight, fully intending on checking our bags. When the kind check-in lady informed us that there was NO WAY our bags would make it on the plane, we opted to carry them on instead. Of course then the kind woman (really no better way to describe her) asked us whether we had any liquids in our bags. "And yes," she continued, "if you can believe it, we ARE a legitimate airport. You can't carry liquids with you, or check your bags 20 minutes before the plane takes off!" We shamefully realized that if we wanted to make it to Montreal with our bags, we'd have to ditch several bottles of lotion and facewash, which Mama K wasn't too happy about. This didn't really phase me, until I remembered that I had just filled my flask with 8 ounces of Grey Goose. Shat-DAMN! What was I supposed to do now?! I was really in distress now. Mama K tried to convince me to chug the entire thing on the ferry ride over (I think she was in need of some light entertainment at this point), but I figured it probably wasn't a good idea to show up to see Nic for the first time in weeks completely wasted. So I tearfully poured out my flask in the garbage can and we rushed over to security with ten minutes to spare.

Although security duly noted the presence of a flask in my bag, they didn't even check to see if it was full. This kinda made me mad. Then, of course, they made the germophobic Mama K take off her sandals and walk through the metal detector in bare feet. I think this is where the tears started to well up in her eyes. This was followed by a 5 minute search through her purse, at the end of which Mama K uttered a 'OOOOOH CRAP!!!" and pulled out a swiss army knife from some hidden pocket. They looked at her skeptically as she claimed to have forgotten about it being there. Seriously Mama K? Who brings a KNIFE through security?! All jokes aside, they unfortunately confiscated her beloved knife and we got on the plane in a pretty demoralized state. Who would be happy with no vodka or knives?

If you can believe it, the rest of the weekend just kept getting more entertaining. On Saturday we went for a 35k run along the Lachine Canal, which was awesome. It was a beautiful morning and we almost managed to escape the humidity by getting out the door relatively early. The second half got pretty hot, however, so naturally we ran through a children's water park on the way home and soaked ourselves under the sprinklers. This was accompanied with a chorus of euphoric 'oooohs' and 'aaaahs'. I don't think we scared off any children, but we definitely got some peculiar stares from their parents. We attempted a circuit session in the afternoon, meaning I took a 45min nap on Nic's couch while Mama K, Stewie and Nic did Nic's infamous '5lb weights are all you need' routine. I was doubly impressed by Nic, who managed to polish off an ENTIRE bag of Oreos WHILE completing the circuit! I have never witnessed such a feat, it truly was incredibly impressive. Not only did she eat handfuls during the rest breaks, but she even chomped down during the ab exercises! I think I have finally uncovered the secret to her six-pack abs!

Serious circuits


G.I. Jane circuits


On Sunday we met up with my Montreal sista Miss Ali-Khan and we ran up Mount Royal. Frick I had forgotten how hilly Montreal was! But the spectacular view at the top was worth every step!

Mama K the master stretcher


Mount Royal run!


Perhaps only appropriately, our trip ended just as tumultuously as it started off. First, by the fact that we had to wash ourselves in pots after our steamy run since the water on Nic's block was shut off for four hours. When we finally got somewhat clean and packed up our bags, we were ravenous and looked forward to a nice brunch at Eggspectations before heading to the airport. This is when Nic had the brilliant idea to try and find a location that was closer to her place - or the airport - so that we didn't have to go downtown. And as if one brilliant idea wasn't enough, she took it one step further by enlisting the help of her beloved GPS system, 'Karen,' to help us out. 'Des-ti-na-tion is 3.9km a-way.' Karen stated robotically. The problem with machines that talk to you is that they always sound sure of themselves. How were we to know that Karen was a lying and deceitful woman? After following her methodical yet completely false directions for 25 minutes and 'arriv-ing-at-dest-i-na-tion' that turned out to be Billy Bob's Beer House or something of the like, we gave up and stopped at a gas station. According to the gas attendant we were only a couple km away from our Great Eggspectations. So again we set off, our eyes hungrily searching for anything with the words 'EGG' written on it, but to no avail. 15 minutes later we pulled into a strip mall and saw two restaurants: Chinese Big Buffet and Tutti Frutti Dejeuner. We settled on the latter, though I'm still not sure that was the right decision...

We sat down and immediately realized that our waitress was not exactly a happy person. She seemed irritated that we were making an effort to speak French (how could we be so inconsiderate!) and impatiently waited for each of us to complete our orders. When our water finally came, she practically threw the glasses on the table, causing them to splash all over the place. She filled our coffees like she was hosing flower pots, pouring half the pot on the table and not bothering to clean up the resulting brown, watery mess (ouf sorry bad visual). I don't think she was happy that three of the four of us changed something about our order either. Katie wanted egg whites and no cheese. I zapped the gluten out of my meal. No one wanted buttered bread. Oh but we wanted extra peanut butter. Finally, when Katie's omelette came all yolked-up and we pointed this out to her, she exploded into a loud 'OOOOOH FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!'. I could barely contain myself. Did she really just swear at us in English?! Did she not understand the concept of tipping? My amusement was short-lived, however, as I gently opened a container of ketchup that shot out like projectile vomit all over my new white shirt and shorts. I barely had time to react before Nic was keeled over, laughing hysterically. Oh wow. Of course we immediately concluded that the waitress had orchestrated this too and was out to get us in any way possible. Instead of going and washing myself like any normal person would do, however, I ignored the mess and continued on with breakfast, too hungry to care that I looked like a stab victim. It made for some interesting looks at the airport, too - to which I responded with a cold blank stare back.

Ketchup victim


So that pretty much wrapped up our superb weekend in Montreal - wasted vodka, a lost swiss army knife, $50 in lost cosmetics, at least $120 in parking fees and a ketchup-stained new outfit. But in all seriousness, it was an amazing weekend (primarily because we ran 55k and got some excellent coaching advice, including insight into a new way to carbo-load). It also concluded my highest mileage week yet - 115 miles on 6 days. I feel great now, just waiting for it to come back and kick me in the ass.

5 comments:

  1. Been a passive (and as of now, silent) reader of your blog, and I do believe this one wins the prize for most entertaining!
    I think I've seen you at a few races, especially at the finish to the Sporting Life 10K as the finish line is literally at my doorstep. Now that I've sufficiently positioned myself as a total stalker, just wanted to point out that your blog is one in a series that I read for my own running inspiration. I've even joined the team over at runnersfeed.com as a "middle-of-the-packer" columnist in my never-ending quest to improve my running.

    Anyway, between Rob Watson's blog and yours, who needs running books and such ;)

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  2. Hi Olivier! Nice to 'meet' you ;). Always neat to know who's reading. Glad you find my posts entertaining (that is always my goal, lol). Hope your running continues to progress - any upcoming goals? Keep at 'er! p.s. Ummm yes. Watson's blog has me cracking up daily!

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  3. Wielding knives through airport security and ketchup stains is always a guarantee to provide some form of entertainment! Everyone ought to give that a try to spice things up a bit ;)

    As for me, I'm always wanting to avenge my less-than-stellar marathon performance last October by running the STWM, but I'm noticing my run game really suffers in the early stages (3-8km). I want to be able to master the shorter distances, then try and get after my potential for a good time in the marathon. This year's race should be a great one too, and I don't want to miss any of it by running it! Ha!

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  4. Sounds like a smart plan! Working on your speed will definitely help bring your marathon time down once you get back into distance training afterwards. I like it! And I'm with ya on watching Scotia instead of racing - I'll be done my mara a week earlier so can do the same.

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  5. All should go according to plan, so long as I don't have to run in 45 degree weather again! But at the same time, I loved that heat... I'm so torn!! I guess I'll remember those days when doing runs in -45 degree weather. That's when I'll miss it most!

    Keep on writing great posts! :)

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