Thursday, November 3, 2011

Heels for healing

You may remember me whining about the temperature of the friggin pool. It's seriously awful. Awful getting in, torturous throughout and numbing by the time I'm finished. It got to the point where my days would be filled with dread when a pool run loomed in the evening. Finally I lost it: 'Why am I putting myself through this insanity?! WHY?!' I screamed at my poor pool running partner, Mauricio. He gave me a strange look and told me to stop complaining (I didn't). I think he was confused by how someone who could run 130 miles per week in 40 degree heat with bleeding, blistering feet without thinking twice about it could be whimpering because of some cold H2O. And perhaps he has a point. Nevertheless, that day I reached my limit. I became lost, confused, empty and wretched, not knowing what on earth I should do next. It was really quite sad and exasperating. Kind of like when you've been dumped by someone awesome and you start dating someone much less awesome. It feels good when you finally dump the less awesome person, but then you're alone, and that can suck just as much if not more. So when my physio suggested to start focusing on doing short runs instead of pooling it out in misery, I jumped at the opportunity. And it felt. AAAAAMAZING.

Unfortunately, my shin wasn't quite ready for the runs, and after 4 little joyous spurts (is it just me or does that just sound wrong?) in a week it was feeling worse than before. So last weekend I was advised to stay in the pool and strengthen the muscle until it felt 100%. Once again, a dark cloud of blue frigidness came over me and I shuddered at the thought of my first workout back. Something had to be done. I couldn't continue living this way. I would turn into Mr. Krabs in a Spongebob seaworld again. So, what do I do? Suddenly an absolutely GENIAL thought came over me (happens from time to time): buy a WETSUIT! That was the answer! I'd be cozy and warm and dry for the entire time, heck I could probably stay in there for three hours if I had one of those bad boys on! I jumped and giggled at the thought. Suddenly the world was all flowers, rainbows and sunshine.

So I ventured over to Canadian Tire and found a pretty good deal on a full wetsuit. Last night I decided to try it out. I walked out onto the pool deck and smirked at Mauricio in his little shorts. He outright laughed at me in my ridiculous astronaut attire. Whatever, I would be warm and he would suffer. I knew I wouldn't have the last laugh! We got in the pool and before I even had a chance to start moving, something felt very odd. I paused, and instead of drowning like I normally would, I just bobbed there and floated around. WTF? Apparently the wetsuit was not only a warming device, but a flotation one as well! Now perhaps a normal person would be happy about this, since pool running took virtually no effort. But to me it was an epic fail. I wanted to work HARD in the water, not waste 90min floating around! I decided to give it a shot, however, and tried to make it more difficult my moving my legs as fast as humanly possible. I think I found the answer for G.I. Jane sprint training - I had some legitimate turnover going on, which I have never come close to before. I glided through the water, moving faster than the swimmers beside us. I felt like Jesus just hammering across the surface. I looked over at Mauricio (usually when I lapped him, every couple minutes) who was panting and periodically getting submerged under water due to his sinking frame. 'It's sooooo cold today G.I.' he uttered miserably. I didn't respond. I was not happy. All the glory I had envisioned was usurped from my being. I was ready to give up my spongey suit and suffer through the cold just so I could be working as hard as him. An hour later, he asked 'Are you still warm?' 'Yes,' I answered, 'But I'm also bored. This is too easy!' I thought about continuing until two hours, but figured it would still be a waste of time. So we got out 90min later, him tired and spent, while I felt like I could go and hammer two hours on the elliptical. Dammit!

So the wetsuit idea was not as genial as I had anticipated. Hopefully I will do some triathlons next summer and get some use out of it...errr unless anyone wants to buy a wetsuit from me?

Alright, next time I blog I will not have any shin pain. What is the reason for my renewed determination, you might ask? Well, it has nothing to do with running. There are no races in the immediate future and I am in no rush to start hammering out the miles. But it is holiday season (maybe only in my world, it starts in mid--October) and for me that means party time. And party time entails party outfits which means I get to sport my awesome heel collection. And for anyone who has seen my apartment, they have witnessed this fabulous collection of shoes that lines the entire length of my wall. Black, gold, white, silver, red, strappy, glittery, four inch, six inch, three inch, eff-me boots - I've got them all. And at the moment I can wear none of them. This is very sad. Wearing one of my two pairs of flats is not a la party Jane. So, I am strengthening my shin twice a day and massaging it religiously in order to get it strong enough to withstand some heel action. Somehow I have a feeling that this is what will make me healthy. Go figure!

Heeling power!



  1. I once bought running shorts from the Running Room outlet, where all sales are final. Even took them for a test run when I got home. Checked the tag... yeah... Brooks Running Women. I'll trade you the shorts for the wet suit! Not fair enough? Hmmm okay, I'll even throw in a VHS copy of Flight of the Navigator. Come ON!!

  2. Hilarious. ps my fiancée wants your shoes.

  3. Olivier, are you sure women's shorts just aren't meant for you? Plus, that's a terrible deal! Lol.

    John - Spanks! Does she want a wetsuit as well?

  4. Well now that you were so quick to scoff my offer, I will up the ante. I will pace you for 100m for your next race. Now, I can't pace you for much more than that due to my size -43 women's running shorts, but I'll have you on a 3:59/mile pace in no time.

  5. Mason and I are going over blueprints, we are building you a shoe rack. We will accept beer as payment.

  6. Olivier - Wow, what a great improvement on the deal! I have always had trouble finding pacers for the first 100m of my races. You're on!

    Rob...I am very excited for this. This may quite the logistical challenge, however, as the ratio of space that my shoes take up vs. total area of my apartment is quite high. It's got to fit in the place! (For a self-proclaimed shoeless person, I have a whole lotta shoes.)

  7. Yay for you and Rob! You make a bangin couple...