Hey there, so if you’re like me then you are probably wondering what the heck is going on here at the Coolis blog, why has this sucker not been updated in so long? What’s the deal? What‘s going on with our favourite Canadian Female Runner/Blogger!? Well folks I hate to break it to you, but Jane is dead...haha, just kidding, she’s alive, just busy as hell that’s all. She simply does not have the time nor the energy to blog right now. This will happen, shit gets pretty stressful and hectic when you are trying to finish up a PhD in Medical Biophysics (yeah, that is a real thing I swear).
I (rob) on the other hand have too much time and too much energy. Therefore I am gonna write a blog here for the Coolis. Gonna give ya a quick update on what is going on in the life of Coolis...well actually I don’t know exactly what is going on with her. I have only briefly spoken to the Coolis, so I have a basic outline at best, I’ll make up the rest as we go. Okay let’s get at it.
We’ll start with an update on Jane’s shin. Her shin is annoying and stupid, it is slowly and surly getting better, that’s good. But it’s still kind of a sensitive topic, we’re not gonna talk about it right now. The lack of running has really opened up some free time in Jane’s schedule, what is she suppose to do at 5am now that she can’t run? Well Jane has taken to dominating the weight room. She has been throwing the iron around like a gosh darn maniac. She is getting huge! Home girl can legit lift 100lbs right over her head, it’s insane! She’s an animal! Jane has really gotten into the whole meathead, weight lifting scene, she even started doing mixed martial arts. She’s pretty good too. Jane had her first official MMA fight the other day, it was awesome, she punched the other girl right in the face and then tapped her out with a perfectly executed guillotine choke, quite impressive. Do not mess with the Coolis.
Jane is not just about weight lifting and physical violence, she’s also quite smart. Let’s do a quick update on her schooling. Jane is killing it with her school stuff. She is a top notch researcher and scientist. I’ve seen her in action it’s quite cool. Well, except for when she has to do experiments on mice, that shit is disgusting and disturbing. First she gives a mouse cancer for a while then she kills it. It is unnerving, but I guess it is necessary. It’s not like she’s testing chemicals on the mice for Proctor&Gamble or anything. This is for science! We’re trying to cure cancer here! I have looked over her research and notes and such. It’s very solid stuff, and if I do say so myself, I’m pretty sure that she is well on her way to finding a cure, I’m saying like 5years tops until Jane has taken care of it. My girl is wicked smart (read that last line like this) School however is very time consuming and stressful sometimes, so let’s move on.
Jane got a haircut. It’s kinda short. The front part is shorter than the back part, It’s still blond and she keeps it pretty straight. Looks good I’d say. She probably paid like $400 on it though, chicks are always paying ridiculous amounts of money on their hair. Girls are weird about their hair. Jane also might get a tattoo, she’s been thinking about it a lot. She’s narrowed it down to either a tribal arm band or a tear drop. Either way, she is gonna get inked up. It will add to her street cred, her MMA friends will surly approve.
Adding some more badassness to Jane’s recent activities is that she went to a sweet rock and roll show the other day. Jane generally does not like music with guitars. She prefers music made by computers and robots. But she was forced to listen to a whole lotta Chuck Ragan there for a bit and she developed a soft spot for the guy. Chuck happened to be in town and she agreed to go to the show. I had gone to a computer themed music show with her, so she owed me. Jane brought along Tim and Mauricio. They are also big fans of computer music, they are also Jane’s best buds. The three of em’ make up a pretty solid/intimidating posse. Jane’s other friend Noah also came. Noah actually likes guitars, apparently he can shred on one pretty good. Noah is a good dude, but he had to leave early to conduct an experiment. Yeah, Noah left a Chuck Ragan show early for the sake of science. He just got his PhD though, so I guess that will happen sometimes...Nerd.
Tim and Mauricio, cool dudes.
Dr. Noah. Yep...nerd.
So speaking of nerds, let’s not forget folks, Jane is a big science nerd. Don’t be fooled by the blond hair, pretty face and outgoing personality. She is a huge nerd. She will straight up do science until she passes out. It is crazy, she loves that shit. Big nerd, yep, that’s Jane.
Anyways, the guitar music show was at Lee’s Palace. Jane tried to order a Martini, it was a hilarious failure. The bartender just looked at her and told her she was at the “wrong place for that” then walked away. She settled for cheap vodka on the rocks. She didn’t seem to mind. Jane had a lot of fun at the Chuck Ragan show it was wicked. She has a new appreciation for guitars and she now has a soft spot for fiddlers.
Since the show Jane has gotten back into her 19hr work days and has not been heard from since. She actually might be dead for real this time. I hope she is not dead. But if she is I guess I’ll see ya’ll at the funeral. We’ll pour a Vodka Martini with extra olives on the curb in honor of our fallen friend.